Instigated

Assalamualaikum and HELLOOO there!

How is everyone? Though I do not know who that ‘everyone’ is, yet I’m wishing THAT ‘everyone’ a good and best of health. InsyaAllah.

My first semester of my third year has started for almost 2 months now. Everyone is busy, including myself with..well, you know..assignments, presentations, completion of subjects required by the university, etc. This semester seems to be misinterpreted by me as it did not turn as what I have expected. Well, during the break (April-July), I assume that this term would be more relaxing as there would be no CELPAD classes. However, hmm…nothing much I can say but ‘once you’re a student, you will always be a student’.

Hey, Ramadhan is coming. Gosh! I can’t wait. Happy and excited.

My last Ramadhan was… hmm..that is history. Let’s not talk about it. Not that I forbid myself to remember of the past, but sometime, at certain circumstances, there’s no necessity to look at the past because it will make me grunt rather than to feel syukur. I would feel better to think of the good things rather than the other side. Anyway, things that happened in the past have actually made be a better person. I think so. Alhamdulillah.

As new semester starts, students meet new lecturers too. As for me, lecturers for this term are people of the cool persona, I would say. And we also have few famous lines for the lecturers and one of them is “We’re feeling your love”. Hehe. Owh, just to inform, a lecturer who is currently teaching me has somehow instigated me to blog again. Heee~ So, I guess this might be the coming of me for this term. How many times have I actually say this?! Huhu. InsyaAllah, it would be periodical this time. Once a month should be alright, as long as there is consistency. Easy to say than it is to be done, isn’t it?

 

                            

Friday

Assalamu’alaikum and Hi.

Friday, finally it’s the last day of my teaching session for this year. Next will only be next year and it will only happen if there is time (normally I would).

Feel a little upset to leave them, yet glad that I’ll be continuing my study and I’ll be meeting my nutty friends again. Hehe. And ya..perhaps glad to be back in campus as I’ve been missing my days as a student too.

Hmm..Its a day full of touching moments. Students gave me gifts, cards, letters etc. Huhu. So, that is how it feels. I feel appreciated. Thought I would not receive any gift this year, since Teacher’s Day had passed. But I was wrong, I was wrong.

Hmm..life is like that isn’t it? You meet and you part. They come and they go.

Hmm..

While grieving over a departure, sometimes I forgot that I have ONE who has always been with me, HIM. Forgive me.

HE, who has always been there...Thank You.


 

Sakitnya ku terasa...

Assalamu’alaikum and Hi, Hmm… I’m not really in the mood to post anything this week but since I’ve promised to update my blog every weekend, here…guess I could share my despair with my silent reader.

Last Friday was the Academic Day for the schools which I’m temporarily teaching. Together with me on that day was a senior teacher who was supposed to help me during the parents-teacher session, but in turn up that she helped me half way. Owh well, nothing for me to grudge as I feel much comfortable to do things on my own.

While the senior teacher was with me in the class that morning, we had a teacher chat where we talked about the students, the school, the system and etc. and among all that we talked about, the story of a girl who was and is still abuse by her dad had caught and dragged me to despair… till today. Huh.

I hate violence.

Very ‘fortunately’ to say, the girl is one of my year 4 students. She has been abused my her dad since she was 9 years old, that was when the school realized she was abused, perhaps her father has  started to abuse her since she was much younger. Well, things like abusing don’t really start in a day. It is build through time.

Perhaps one would wonder, had she really been abused or was it only one of the ways that her dad uses to discipline her. Well, why don’t you smart readers tell me whether it is abuse or teaching, when a father hits her daughter till it leaves the petite with swollen body and bruises…bruises in shapes of a buckle. And it happens every now and then.

Well, I would call that child abuse since he is hurting his child badly!! I would understand that there are parents who may hit their children because they want to discipline them but, could it be that hard? Well, why don’t you try to hit yourself first..till you have the shape of a buckle on your body. Hitting is the last resort! It was never the first.

I am no one good in the field of teaching a child nor am I good in being a parent, because I am not yet one, neither am I a dummy who knows nothing about this. Hmm.. Islam provides us with guidelines about everything which includes parenting. And as far as I am concerned, Islam has never taught parents to hit their children as hard they want. Hitting is the last resort and hitting is not just about hitting. There are guidelines as on how and where to hit too. Hmmpphh…

I remember once, I read something about Lukman Al-Hakim, a person whom his name was even mentioned in the Holy Quran. Once he used to say,“ Pukulan bapa ke atas anaknya bagaikan air menyiram tanaman”, (since I have the material it BM, I would prefer to keep it in BM). “…bagaikan air menyiram tanaman” which means the conduct of a father towards his child should flourish the child into someone good, not harming the child, because it is all about teaching and it was never about losing temper. Hmmpphh..

It hurts me when I hear children being hurt…and even more painful when one of them is my student who is almost the same age as my little sister. Speechless + sakit hati!

May everyone learn to love children more everyday. May we protect them from harm, because there is no one better than US.

“…
Pray to God He hears you

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

How to save a life”

Reminiscing...

Assalamualaikum and Hi,

        As I have promised, I will update my blog every weekend. So, here I am putting up a new story to share with everyone.

        A week of teaching in the same school with my mum, is a new experience. Though we’re in the same school, yet the chance of meeting is 10 percent. Both have responsibilities and most of the time, the 10 percent would only happen if my mum calls me so that we could take a break together.

        Teaching was never my dream when I was young, as I have always dreamed to be something else. But, as I grow up and get involve in the field, I have learnt to love it. Just like they say, “tak kenal maka tak cinta”.

        Being a teacher means my clients are mostly, 95 percent, students. Since I’m going to be teaching the primary school, thus they would be from 7 to 12 years old. Like I said, I have never imagined myself to be involved in this field. Passion of teaching was never in me, what else getting involved with children.

        Even when I started the course in the year 2004, teaching was still not in me. I have always grumbled and complained things to my parents. Starting with the maktab, which as old as it can be, right up to almost everything around me (toilet, the town, food etc.). I see everything as half empty rather than half full.

        It was only in the year 2006 that I have learned a lot about teaching and about being a teacher, though it was not ‘really’ that much; but enough to make me understand why a true teacher loves to be a teacher. It was also the time when I first decided to fill my semester break with teaching at the school where my little sister went. Nothing was in my mind, exactly… nothing. Nada.

        I remember my first day of teaching, I had to teach the year 3, a class of 45 pupils, all aged 9.  Not just that, I was also assigned to be their class teacher. As their ‘mother’, the burden of taking care of them, EVERYTHING related to the 45 pupils, was on me. It was a real challenge, I may say, as I have never imagined that a teacher works as ‘that’.

        The first day was perfect! Everyone listened to me, everyone was eager to know me and every one of the children was enthusiastic to know who replaced their class teacher. Of course it was my day. But, as the second day turned up, most of the pupils started to show their true colours. I was taken aback. “So, this is how children really are”, I said to myself. Since it was my first time dealing with so many children at a time with various antics, I would say that my class control was the worst ever. Worst ever. My bad.

        But as time passes by, I have learned more. Through other’s experience, through my best friend-my mum, through books, articles and just anything that could help me. The more I read, the more I realize that there are more to learn.

        Right after my first year ended, I called the PK-HEM asking for a place. She was glad that I called because the school was really in need. I did not wait for long, so I went to school on the next Monday which was my third day of semester break. This time, with a mission. I had put a challenge on myself to control the class as good as ever without losing my temper. And gladly to say, I did. But it was hard! It was hard!

        I really did try my best, consulted friends which I have made the previous year and my mum. It was quite hard because during that year I had to take care of younger children, I had to take care of 3 classes of year 2. Though the age of 8 and 9 is not much gap but the attitude of children have always differ because there are still some who could cope with the school system and there are some who couldn’t. I had fun time with them, though I would fall flat everyday as I reach home. It was more of baby-sitting rather than teaching them subjects.

        Not just that, I also had to teach the year 4 which is considered as students of level 2. My challenge during that time was not knowing the right way to handle students ‘who think they are old enough’. Haha.. I can’t play with them like I did with the level 1, thus activities were to design based on their general characteristic- ‘think that they are old enough’. Sabo je la.

        And this year, 2008, I am working in the same school as my mum. Just to breath the air of another field. My students are from year 4 and 5 which most of them seems to be good. They are also average students. Few have captured my attention as they are slightly different from the rest, I like peculiarity. Owh ya, I am the class teacher of 5 Neptune a.k.a the last class in rank. Hmmppphh…there seems to be no problem with behaviour but perhaps other things. I have found one reason. Maybe we could talk about it next week.

Till then.

Assalamualaikum. =)

I am BACK... to school!

Assalamualaikum and Hi there, It’s been quite a while isn’t it? Hmm…nothing much happen during that time. Well, here I am. Back again, perhaps for a while, with not-so-interesting not inportant story for anyone to read. I’ve decided to start posting up stories again since I’ll be busy teaching within the next few weeks. I guess, posting up something here could make me attach to you guys. It is approximately a month till I get back to campus. The past two months had been spend really wisely by staying at home as a PA to my mum, a more or less wedding planner for my big brother, a baby sitter, and I shall say, perhaps a housekeeper too. Anyway, it was fun to be at home though tiring most of the time because chores never end. Tomorrow, I will start working in the school, where my mum works, as a substitute teacher. Hmm…I’ve been there many times but never really had the experience working together with my mum…in terms of other than things related to home. Home and school are two different meeting points for us. Guess I might have to set a boundary between me and my mum. For instance, hmm…maybe I shouldn’t call her “Mama” when we’re in the school area…but …I have never called my mum with any other name. Hmm…maybe I can call her with one the names which I always played on her… “mak encik”. Agaga. Owh, I almost forgot. As I’ve mentioned above, I’m back again but only for a while. The blog will be updated during the weekend, Saturday or Sunday. InsyaAllah, if there is nothing much to do, I’ll be telling you guys things that happen through out the week. Hmm..sounds fun. Hopefully it’ll be fun. Till then. Assalamualaikum and Taraaa.

My goodbyes

Assalamu'alaikum..

Sebenarnye dah lame dah fikir untuk berhenti dr 'blogging' kat friendster ni. Dah berbulan-bulan fikir. Tapi tangguhkan dulu sebab nak tunggu end of year. hehehe..mcm official sikit la.

Kenapa nak berhenti dr 'blogging'? Bukan berhenti sepenuhnya, tapi nak buat perkara yang lebih bermanfaat sikit. Hmm...cukupla sekadar aku je tau sebabnya. Hmm..yang previous entries pun akan di 'delete' kan.

Message terakhir dari aDiLLa-Z:

"Sama-sama lah kita perbaiki diri ek..satu langkah kita pada-Nya, seribu langkah Dia pada kita."

Owh..and kite doakan supaya kite sume success ok?

Good bye. Wassalam.

Lots of love,

Maryam A'dilla bt Zainudin

mental numbness..

Assalamu'alaikum...

Selamat Hari Raya to all the muslims.

How was your raya? Hope everything went well. Mine was Alhamdulillah, it went well. As usual, on the morning of the raya, 10th of Zulhijjah, my family and I went to the surau near by our house. We performed our solat sunat raya and listened to the khutbah,preach by the imam. At 10.00am, the Qurban started.

Meriah jugak tahun ni...though I wasn't at the Surau to help the makcik-makcik taman. I had to go to the market with my big bro. Before we left for the market, we stop by at the surau..just to show our faces...telling them that 'hey, we are here...but we had to leave in 5 minutes..." huahuahua..its a way of showing our concern to the people around I guess. If we can't be there, at least we inform them why we can't join...hidup bermasyarakat la katakan. We went back to kampung on the next day-I love kampung!

Alamak panjang plak intro..owh, well.

Hmm..for this time I was thinking of saying about mental numbness. huh? mental becomes numb? Well, yes...our mental do become numb when we don't think. In fact, it will die. "Either you use it or lose it", said Dr. Yed.

I guess the disease is a pandemic nowadays that almost everyone is lazy to think by themselves. Hmm...why don't I give definition of mental numbness..not mine actually, but its from a book.

"Mental numbness is a situation where most people hold to the belief that what the majority does or think is right."

The reason for highlighting this topic in my blog is that when somebody reads it..I want the person to refelect on himself. Am I part of the people who has this disease? or am i not...and a reminder to myself too.

The spreading of this plague is worrying, for me, as I see more people are rather to be the followers than to think, to find the truth (who am I to say this? It's my blog.I have the right to say my opinions.) It is also when one become accustomed to things that seems to be odd at the beginning but considered as ordinary as time goes on.

For instance, a friend said to you " Weyh, ko nak tau tak...die ni pelik sikit..susah nak buat keje ngan die.."..then another friend would come to you and say the same thing...then another friend would come and say "Weyh, die ni ckp..die ni pelik..susah nak buat keje ngan die.."..So, what do you do? Do you trust what your trusted friends have said? or do you seek for the truth?

Hmm...sampai sini je la..I let you do the rest of the thinking. (I sound like my new second -old-boyfriend-this year who is 135 years old but looks like 45..who is about to die..who works for his Lamborghini.) ;P

My Photo

August 2008

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31            

Categories

Photo Albums